Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac


Doing 65 mph


With her
Face up next to her

Rear view mirror  

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked
away

For a couple seconds...

to continue shaving

A nd when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,


Still working on that makeup.

A s a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;
I dropped

My electric shaver


Which knocked

The donut
Out of my other hand.

In allThe confusion of trying
To straighten out the car


Using my knees against
The steering wheel,


It knocked

My Cell Phone


A way from my ear


Which fell


Into the coffee  

Between my legs!


Splashed,


A nd burned


Big Jim and the Twins,  


Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,


A nd disconnected an
Important call.

Damnwomen
drivers!